A letter submitted to us regarding Michigan House Bill 5267

Following is a very moving letter that was graciously submitted to us for posting. Thank you so much Nicole for allowing us to post this. Your addition to this "fight" is much needed. I highlighted a portion of her letter that I thought was so very impactful with the way she worded it.

Please visit Dads and Moms of Michigan at www.dadsofmichigan.org or "Father": A Child's Right.org at www.fatherachildsright.org for more information on Michigan House Bill 5267.

Without further delay...


Honorable John Stahl:

For three years, my son fought to remain in his children's lives -- against all odds.

Because NH, like Michigan, thinks that four days a month is adequate time for a father to do all his fathering. But what if you only got to see your kids four days a month? And the other 26 days, some other man was "fathering" them -- or not? Meanwhile, you had done nothing to harm them.

By the time it was over, my son had $110,000 worth of debt -- but he also had his kids -- two weekends out of three, alternate holidays and birthdays, two weeks in the summer, two weeks during the school year and during one of the school vacation breaks. Plus any time his ex-wife and her live-in boyfriend needed a sitter.

Was he not the same guy? If he was good enough as a father to have his children so much after he'd spent tens of thousands of dollars in the court battle, wasn't he good enough in the beginning when the court only wanted him to have them four days a month? And if he was good enough after, why deny him his children before?

Why make a father (and the children) go through a ferocious court battle to find equity at all? What is the point? Everyone gets hurt.

Think how much time was wasted -- time that could have been to the benefit of the children. How much money was wasted -- money that could have gone to pay for extra-curricular activities for the children (my granddaughter wanted to play violin) -- instead of to attorneys to file motion after motion after motion.

I'm proud of my son for hanging in there -- through all the abusiveness of the current family court system -- the false accusations -- the parental alienation -- the psychological abuse (of fathers). At the same time I am saddened by the "bad memories" my granddaughter refers to.

She's nine now -- soon to be ten. I told her the other day that I hoped I'd be there when she had children. She said "If I get married." I asked her if she wanted to get married. She said "If I find the right person. I don't want to marry the wrong person and get a divorce. That only makes for BAD MEMORIES." She started wetting the bed immediately after her parents separated -- she was four years old. The divorce took three more years out of her life. Three years of bad memories.

She recently skipped a grade in school and she is on the honor roll. She won second prize in the talent show last year and she takes medals in her gymnastics and softball events (my son coaches). And she is now learning to play the violin. But, she tells me that coming to her dad's for the weekends is what she really looks forward to.

It's time to wake up. We aren't in the last century. Fathers want to be with their children and children want to be with their fathers.

Don't let groups like NOW and DOVE put a wall between them in an effort to forward feminist causes for political reasons. Take the gender war somewhere else. Where children aren't the casualties.

Foster equity -- not animosity.

Pass HB5267 -- please.

Nicole Perry
Michigan Voter